Past Christmases

How I spent my Christmases in the UK for the past 5 years:

Christmas in Edinburgh 2006

Christmas in Buxton 2007

Christmas celebration in Leeds when Andrew came and on Christmas day itself, went to Kyle's 2008

Christmas fine dining at CF's and dinner with the Spenceley's 2009

Christmas 2010

how will Christmas 2011 be?

"follow me"

i'm inclined to share with you my quiet time which I did on my way back home from Bradford. It was in the book of Matthew, chapter 9 where Jesus called Matthew to be one of his disciples and although it was short passage, it spoke to me.

Matthew 9:9

⁹ As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

I wonder why of all people, did Jesus see a tax collector?

What caught Jesus' eyes?

What was Matthew doing? was he crying or waving at Jesus that caught Jesus' attention?

The bible is very quiet about this.

Jesus must have seen something that other people can't see.

Perhaps Matthew wasn't crying or waving at him.

Perhaps he was sitting at the booth counting coins, performing the daily duties of a tax collector. But deep within inside his heart, he feels that empty. He feels that there's something more to life than just collecting coins. He feels the pain and hurt from rejected by people.

He wonders if there is someone who could close the gap in his heart and perhaps at that very moment of the time his heart might be crying out, 'if there is a God, reveal yourself to me and I'm willing to let go of everything to follow you!!"

Jesus knows the condition of his heart and I think that's what caught Jesus' attention.

That was when Jesus approached him, "Follow me". In Matthew's mind, he must be so amazed and so surprised because someone heard his cry for help and it was God! Jesus came seeking for him!

and that's why he stood up, left everything he has and followed Jesus.

I would like to imagine Matthew feeling hopeless and meaningless about life and his spirit broken. Because in Psalms 51:17

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

By being broken, we can approach God humbly; not proud, not arrogant, not relying on our strength and not being selfish.

Supposedly if Matthew was at the top of his world, at the peak of his career and success, he wouldn't have left everything and follow Jesus. He would be thinking, 'why is this mad man asking me to follow Him. No way!!'

But Matthew was humble and broken when Jesus called him. Life has disappointed him, it has broken him down to the point where he can't pick himself up anymore.

God knows the condition of our heart even when we are trying to hide from everyone else.

I thank you God for seeking me when I was lost and hopeless. You picked me up when my life was broken and you called me. I did not respond instantly as Matthew did because I have doubts and did not have faith in you.

I realised I can't do things on my own strength and will but to fully depend on Yours. I have to let go of things that are dear to me because it's Your will and not mine to be fulfilled.

***

my birthday!!

Very happy and very touched.

Thank you all who came to surprise me. Thank you Van who organised everything (and the cake too). Thanks Sonia and Van who did the make up. Thank you to those who came for dinner at Red Chillies. Thank you Steph for the kuey tiaw and the paitesserie cake and the necklace. And thank you all for the handbag! I am kinda bad at expressing my emotions but I really like the bag!!!!! so soft and it smells like leather hahaha

I din dare to hope so much for fear of disappointment. But am really grateful and appreciative of all the efforts you guys made, especially for coming all the way, braving through the cold and rain to surprise me.

T.T

it's halloween!

try spotting me

******

i hope I have scared you enough haha :P

A time for everything

i cant believe it's time for me to apply for my foundation year job! Time really flies. Last week my group taught the third years examination skills and looking at them really reminded me of how I was when I was in their position. I remember doing things and performing certain steps in the examination bit very slowly for fear of making a mistake. And that was what I saw in the third year student when she was checking the visual field of her group mate.

third year was mainly to get things signed off in our log book. once it's done, it's done. no more repeating

Fourth year was a turning point. A time when we blossomed and grow.

fifth year is when we want to get as much experience as we can and when doing something once isn't enough.

We are the most senior person in med school now. first year medics think we are gods. But when we enter the working world, we are the most junior ones.

can you imagine us becoming doctors??

My heart echo the words from Ecclesiastes ( i have to refer a few times to get the spelling right lolz) chapter 3 on a time for everything. This is also specially dedicated to a friend who is going through a very hard and depressing time right now. It hurts to see someone suffering in pain and yet being unable to do something. The only way out is death but parting can be difficult because you will miss him/her terribly when he/she leaves. so there you go my friend, may God continue to be with you and your family during this time.

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

PARIS!

I'm so excited i can't contain this excitement anymore.

I have just booked a trip to Paris in December!!! This time i'm not flying but using eurostar which i have heard much about in sec school. i hv tried the ferry(terrible experience) and plane across europe and now it's train. Probably cruise would be next :)

the feeling is like the time in first year when I booked flights to Holland. It's been nearly 4 years since I ever made a holiday trip to Europe.

Although it's only 4 nights and 3 days, this is definitely something to look forward to especially after 3 intensive placements. can't wait!!