last week one patient crashed.
He was my patient and I remember speaking to the cons the morning of his death re his antiobiotics. But my cons reassured me and said, to continue with current treatment and monitor bloods. On that fateful day, I happened to be on the same bay as the patient reviewing another patient. Suddenly I heard a shout, from the auxillary nurse, 'doc doc, quick see this patient!' I turned my head to look across the bed and lo and behold, the patient laid motionless, as white as sheet and lifeless on the bed.
I used to wonder, if i were the first on the scene of a crash call, would I be confident enough to perform CPR. I didn't have time to think about that when I saw him. I rushed over, shook him violently and start yelling, 'mr x mr x can u hear me?'. No response. I checked his pulse. No pulse. And I started compressing his chest.
The nurse with me was shaking like a leaf. I said, 'quick, get the oxygen mask 15l and get the other two docs to come. Has the crash call been sent out yet.' I was amazed that I could even said something like that. soon my colleagues came and took over from me.
The patient passed away 30 min later after 3 shots of adrenaline and 30min of CPR.
i cant help but think if I have missed anything out with my management that could possibly have prevented his death. Should we have done more for his sepsis? he was in fact the youngest patient on my ward so it was very unexpected that he passed away.
Today, another thing happened which I can't blog about but it has made me realised how much responsibility we (junior docs) have on patients' lives. I cant help thinking about it on my way back home...sigh. A lesson learnt but a costly one too...
I am not really good at penning my thoughts and feelings. These two incidents have made me feel rather disappointed at myself. Yes, i know i can improve on what I could have/should have done in the future but still it might cost a patient's life in every mistake that we make. The scary part is that this is just the beginning of my career and there are still more to come and more responsibilities to bear in the future.