MRCP or MRCPaeds??

woke up at 8.50 today when i was supposed to be work at 9am and my workplace is 40min away by bus!

funnily enough, i managed to wash and moisturise my face just before hoping onto the taxi to work . #vainpot lol

have a good weekend everyone! i'm going down to london tomorrow

hi all!

some how i cant sleep because i just finished work and with all the adrenaline rush, i think i'm still suffering from the consequences of its effect.

it was changeover last wed, which means almost all junior doctors, change to a different rotation. So, i'm on elderly medicine ward at the moment.

initially i thought, hey it wasn't that bad...the doctors are nice etc. but this week, i think i'm starting to realise that elderly med is actually really bad. it's so understaffed that it's only my F2 and I on the ward. so I have to conduct my own ward round every day. plus, my registrar doesn't seem to understand the doctors hierachy very well coz he asked me if i was a GP trainee when it clearly said on my badge that i was a F1. I think he seemed quite annoyed with me coz i'm always asking him questions and he's always very miserable.

it's so sad to see patients dying too. maybe by the end of the rotation i will get used to it but still, it's depressing. I had to talk to a patient's wife today because the patient told his wife to speak to us. She agreed with us that he was not improving and seems to be dying anytime soon and she said she doesn't know why her husband kept pestering her to speak to us.

anyway, after talking to her, she went back to see her husband briefly before leaving the ward. When she was leaving, she suddenly grabbed my hand and said, 'doctor, i know why my husband wanted me to speak to you. he knows he's dying and he wants the doctor to tell me that. now he's happy that i know'.

i don't knwo how you felt but i felt very sad at that point. even at his deathbed, he was still concerned about his wife and he wanted her to know that he was going but he couldn't bear to speak about death to her.

so that's my random update on elderly medicine. i wonder if i can get any positiveness out of this rotation?

'doctor, please, just let me die, please'

i never knew how depressing and helpless it would be for me to hear those words myself.

useless post

ok i should revive this blog coz it's kinda dead.

i should try to blog more often if you dont mind reading rather useless and boring posts. so boring i think i can hypnotize you to sleep.

but anyway! i have worked for 4 months now! I think i have learned a lot now compared to how i was in the beginning although i don't feel it. I remembered when i first started work, a nurse was asking my colleague to listen to a patient's chest because it sounded crackly. I remembered telling myself, 'woah what should I do, i would be so terrified to do anything'. now it will be like, 'cheh, crackles in lungs. nothing one. hahaha' (exaggerating only lol, i won't totally ignore the patient). and another thing i learned is: do not totally follow what the nurses tell you to do. Just because they have eaten more salt in the working environment, doesn't mean you have to do everything what they say. i digress.

dun wana talk about work, i wana talk about the things i bought with my first pay! actually i think it was even before my first pay that i bought them :S. haha. i'm using ipod to take the photos so the quality is quite bad.

i bought a keyboard and a guitar! I think the model is CDP 100. it's a full size keyboard with weighted keys but I don't really like the sound quality from the keyboard as I think yamaha one is better. Otherwise it was a really good keyboard for its price and it came with a stand and headphones too! I bought the guitar after looking on my uni portal ( i still had access that time) and one guy was sellign it second hand! so lucky!

so i thought since i started working, i should start looking after myself more. you know with those nights and winter months coming, I'd better start moisturising my skin and protect it from aging! i spent many hours loitering around the beauty section of a departmental store because i was so scared to approach the sales girl to ask questions HAHA. some of the products had no price tags on and i didn't know what the functions are (clarifying lotion, serum, cleanser, toner etc). who knows later i feel obliged into buying the products before doing proper research on others first.

i then went back and spent countless hours on the internet searching and looking for the best deals. I initially wanted clinique or clarins (but not lancome because steph uses it and i don't want to end up using the same as her LOL) but somehow i saw a few blogs which recommended shiseido and a rather newcomer brand hada labo. Knowing these are not easily available in the UK, i painstakingly searched the internet and managed to find a company which imports them at rather reasonable price.


The borghese cleanser was a rather impulsive buy coz it was on sales and it was quite cheap. I haven't started using it as i'm still using my other cleanser. I love the shiseido moisturising lotion to bits!i hv used a few moisturising lotions before and they are either sticky or cause redness on my face. this one doesn't stick to my face after applying and it's so smooth and absorbs so well! i think it was 37pounds for a 75ml bottle but it's the best i've tried! when i go back msia, i shall stock up on this brand.

the hada labo moisturising lotion (toner) is quite unique i think. It looks and feels like water but it's not. the way you apply the toner is by putting a few drops on your palm and pat it onto your face until it absorbs. i think my skin does feel soft and smooth after applying but i cant really compare to other toners coz this is my first toner.

I think that's all for today! it's been a crazy past one month with work and also shopping! so much shopping until i forgot what I've bought. that's the danger of staying only 5 min from major departmental stores like tk maxx and debenhams. but no worries, i'm also saving money daddy and mummy lol.

dear patients

dear patients,

i wish you could stop pulling out your cannulas or NG tube because you know how difficult it is to put one in and yet you do not appreciate our effort and time in helping you get better.

I wish you could leave some sweets/chocolates (preferably not celebrations but Thorntons or something better or home bake food please) for us before being discharge because who knows it will be our lunch when it gets busy on the ward.

I wish you would know us by our first names instead of doctor coz it sounds more personal and it makes us feel more appreciated because you bothered to look at our name card.

I wish you would help us ease our burden by allowing the phlebs take your blood instead of requesting doctors to do it.

I wish you would know that there's no point trying to fake a pain because we know you are.

I wish you could differentiate us between nurses so that you do not call me a nurse whenever I walk past you.

I also wish that you wouldn't trouble us with things like trying to get to the toilet/commode but wait patiently for the nurses to respond to your buzzer.

watch! the importance of having Christ in the centre of our lives :)

totally random!

but a big HI to all my blog readers!!

Germany

I just returned from a trip in Germany with the sisters. I really love Germany because the transport system is a lot better than UK and it's so organised! We got very confused a few times though and wasted some precious time waiting for a subway that never came because we didn't understand the system. But I like the way the transport works in which it tries to make traveling cheaper and easier for people traveling in groups. For example, the partner-day ticket allows a maximum of 5 people to travel on a 9.80euro day rider which would cost about 1.96euros per person which is so cheap!

anyway, not gonna talk much here heheh, let the pics do the talking.

lake Kognisee:

my fav shot:

Residenz museum

Neuschwanstein castle

Seeing the breathtaking scenery in lake Kognisee reminded me of how great our God is in creating such beauty. If the lake is that pretty already, I wonder how much more beautiful will heaven be? That, is beyond my imagination.

I thank God because when I prayed for good weather He provided us with sunny warm weather throughout the trip. It drizzled slightly on the first day in Berlin but for the rest of the trip in Munich, the castle and the lake, the weather was superb. The most amazing thing is that only when we were leaving Munich for the airport, it started raining. How good our God is!

Another thing is that there was a problem with our train ticket from the lake to Munich. we decided to take an earlier train which required us to get on a train to Salzburg and then get on an express train from Salzburg back to Munich. What we didn't know is that our ticket terms and conditions clearly stated in German that we were not allowed to use express trains. My instinct told me that I shouldn't board the train but we still did anyway and I was very worried that we might get kicked off the train lol. So the time came for the conductor to check tickets and I was pretty worried. Before he took a look at our ticket, I silently said a prayer asking God to let all things be fine with our tickets. The conductor shook his head when he saw our ticket and said "no, no, you shouldn't be using this train. Your ticket is only valid for slow regional trains." WIth that, he walked off to check others ticket.We were not fined or kicked off the train! how relieved I felt when he walked off, God answers even small prayers like this!

overall I also thank God for the smooth journey we had when the sisters traveled together. There were a few mini bickerings (as steph put it) throughout the trip but fortunately there wasn't any major emotional damage. I have also managed to withstand Steph's criticism who said the only good picture I took of her was this pic below lololol. hahaha :P

But am also glad and thank God that they tolerated me throughout the trip because I took them to walk a super long journey to Hofbrahaus instead of using the subway and they tolerated my crankiness and blurness haha. It's quite amazing how God gives people of the same parents and same upbringing different personalities and character and how we can still tolerate and love each other despite the differences. how boring life would be without these sisters around to keep me company heheh :)

WE PASSED!!!

all glory to God :D

ok exams over, now what?

many people have asked me what have I been doing since exams ended last thurs.

To be honest and I think everyone would agree, the busier times are usually after exams and not before because there are so many things to sort out and that includes Hull accom, employment contract and the upcoming Germany trip.

But every single day after exams we have been blessed with good food.

nasi lemak at Bette's house. I went over to learn some cooking tips from her. hehehehe. will try cooking it one day

MH the masterchef

yummy roast leg of lamb. It was really good!

we cooked for the house and Steph gatecrashed our dinner by suddenly turning up in front of our door

Next week the 3 sisters will be off in Germany and we haven't planned the itinerary for it yet. But the good thing is that we got accommodation and transport sorted.

I don't know how to feel after my exams.

it's a long and anxious wait for results. All glory be unto God if I pass.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" - 2 Corinthians 12:9

TWO DOWN AND TWO TO GO!!

something to thank God for...

He granted me physical strength to carry on today's test even though I was so tired as I haven't been sleeping properly for the past two nights. I was feeling very tired and my brain was too tired to carry on when I was revising during the quarantine period before my test. But 10 minutes before we were due to go in, I suddenly felt very alert, energised and refreshed. so really thank God for that :D

THE END IS NEAR!!

Well not literally the end end but the end of this chapter in life.

So, I need prayers! For my exams, esp OSCE! Also pray for others sitting for 5th yr finals: Esther, Thaz, Yau, MH, Cindy, Bette, Ryle n Sing Yee. I think we are all prepared for exams (in terms if knowledge) already but having knowledge is useless if we don't know how to apply it. Nerves are always the main problem which can deter us from thinking clearly and cause us to stumble in our words. So do pray for God's peace and His clarity.

My exams schedule:
5,6th may - written n slide show
11,12th may- osce

Thanks!!

last day of lecture

yesterday was the very last lecture in med school.

Somehow I felt very heavy-hearted. five years of med school is going to end in 2 weeks' time when finals are over. student life is going to end too! meaning to student discounts for me anymore lolz!

One chapter of life has closed and another is going to open soon.

Different place and different people.

gonna end with this Y U NO meme hahaha. i bet everyone must be super bored with it now.

Y U NO

Y U NO GUY series has been fun to kill the boredom of revision.

on revision:

on exams:


on the rabbit at home:

on the weather:

end of placement!

last friday was my last day of placement as a med student! I cant believe time flew by so fast! Another 5 weeks and it will be our finals.

I was pretty worried that I would not pass my end of placement assessment because I felt that I gave a very bad impression to my consultant. On different occasions, I have given the wrong answer to the same question three times during which my consultant had an exasperated look on his face. But thank God that I passed my assessment and also for His divine intervention because on the day before my assessment, another consultant gave me some feedback for my presentation which was very helpful. There was nothing to worry after all lol...because God is in control! Thank you all also for your prayers!

it feels sad to leave harrogate after spending 8 weeks there. We were given a house (a house house lol) to live during our stay there and I was housemates with D and F who were two very friendly Brits. On the last night of our stay there, we played the last game of monopoly deal and we each won a round!

Gonna miss the time in the Harrogate house with these two English friends! Just now at home, Esther was saying that F said hi to her and it was the first time a British person did that to her after lecture.

I'm very thankful to God for blessing me with the people around me. They could have been much worse than that but God has given me more than what I expected.

Two things to praise God for this week:

1. Jon has started on a new med and praise God that he says he doesn't have any side effects from it! (other than 3 days of headache when he was first on it)

2. The inner peace I felt from God that I know He will be leading the way for me.

Have a good weekend!

Lots of love,
Janice

The jobs allocation for foundation year came out last week and I got Hull!

For a while i wasn't very pleased with the results because Hull wasn't my first 50 choices (it was my 197th choice) and I wanted a paeds job in one of the districts in west Yorkshire. But after looking at the rotation I got, I felt that I should be grateful that I was given banded jobs (which means there are on calls, hence more experience n money lol) and my rotation consists of endocrinology, elderly n surgery which are quite good rotations in my opinion. So I am actually very happy with the allocations.

However I just realized today that I won't be able to go back to Leeds/Bradford (west yorkshire) in my fy2 as hull is categorised under the north Yorkshire deanery so I will be doing my fy2 training in the districts of north Yorkshire. It means that I will need to rebuild my network of friends and community. It also means I will be leaving Leeds for at least 2 yrs n might need to leave the responsibilities I have been entrusted upon as it willbe inconvenient for me to travel to and fro between hull n Leeds. I will not be there to witness the 'blooming' of my medics juniors as they enter phase II of med school n graduate. It's something like planting a flower from a seed and not being able to see it blossom.

I guess I have become very fond of Leeds afterall. Steph is working in Leeds next year so there's a place to stay when I come over for a visit. But I think what I will miss most would be serving God and His people in Leeds.

God is love

It's quite amazing how God always try to bring us back to Him even though we have sinned against Him and hurt Him so much. His love is always everlasting, always unfailing, always unconditional and it comforts us in time of need.

1 Cor 13: 4-7 reminds us of how love is.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Try substituting with your name and you will realise how difficult it is to love. Janice is patient, Janice is kind. Janice does not envy, Janice does not boast...I failed at the first line ad LOL. But if you substitute it with God, God is patient, God is kind...God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It fits the character of God because God is love.

1 John 4:8 says it aptly, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Whenever people fail or hurt us or do not deserve forgiveness, remember that God is love and that we have been called by God to love one another just as He has loved us (John 15:12).

We do not know God if we do not love.

I saw these few Christian comic strips on fb and instantly fell in love with them. Love the way the expression were captured on these pics.

# 1

# 2

# 3

# 4

#5

#6

and my favourite (other than the one I posted previously):

#7

I feel that I'm like the kid in the picture! hahaha! frustrated and tired with so many things yet not talking to God and only seeking him as the last resort. Sometimes we are so frustrated with problems that we forgot that God is just beside us, offering His hands to share in our burdens. Don't put God as our last resort but always seek Him first yeah!!

which comic strip do you like most?

forgiveness

forgiveness that reaches out to the undeserving. just as Jesus forgave those who mocked him, humiliated him and rejected him.

(Ephesians 4:31-32) “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Happy New year!

haha I know this is a super belated post as it's already 23 days post new year. I was reading my blog entry 2009 new year's and thought to myself, what did I do on new year ah and nearly couldn't recall. so before I forget, i better write it in this blog.

it was just like any other days I guess. New year's eve was on Friday, there was no cell group and we did not prepare a proper meal. We went to L&V house for thanksgiving and watched London fireworks on the telly. On New year day, we were rudely awakened by Steph who was annoyed because she missed her bus to London as her iphone alarm clock did not ring (others around the world were also affected lol). what a way to start new year!!

That evening, we went to L&V's house again for a steamboat and celebrated two church members' birthday! there was a game of mafia (in which everyone falls asleep and a killer wakes up and kill people).

Just a recap of 2010, it started off quite badly with lots of downs but thank God that looking back, I have not become weaker but stronger from all the struggles. Friendships were strengthened and spiritually I was more stable than the previous years. However, 2010 saw the leaving of many friends in Leeds and the breakdown of many relationships.

Last year, my specific goals were

1. serve in church

2. master the guitar

3. read 12 books

and I achieved no1 as i started playing keyboard for sunday worship in april last year and am now more involved in cell. Still got lots to improve on though because the confidence and the trust I have in God are still lacking. speaking of guitar, ironically, I told myself 2 years before that I would never play guitar but ended up liking it more than keyboard. I haven't yet mastered the guitar lol but thanks to my sifu, grahammchoo.blogspot.com and Esther who started the weekly guitar lesson in April (which unfortunately have to be discontinued because the sifu left :( ) ,I have started playing guitar for cell also! :D :D all glory to God

din manage to achieve no 3. don't think I even managed to read 5 books last year.

This year, my goals will be:

1. to learn to play by ear

2. to learn to sing!!

3. to maintain current weight (meaning no more losing weight :D)

4. read 6 books in a year (decided not to be too ambitious)

5. save a certain amount of money

Spiritually, I have made a few 'one-year deals' with God and pray that I will keep to the promise :D it will be a year when I learn to have full dependence and submission on God. good night!!